Baby Bean

There is officially a baby bean... we got to see it today via u/s. The heartbeat was a strong little thing! YEAH!! Jason's comment.. "yeah.. I guess I did knock you up again!" LOL!! :D

The services for my sister have come and gone. I didn't view the body on Sunday night, just because I normally don't. I did have to look at it on Monday, as they had it in the front of the church and I had to walk past it.. ugh. Everyone was saying how good she looked. I thought she looked downright AWFUL. She had this blue/purple/gray spot around her nose and mouth.. and her face.. it was TANNED! They made her look like she had be laying in a tanning bed.. as Jason says.. for at least 7 hours! Then her arms were all pastey white. It was nasty! She would have been HORRIFIED to see herself. She had one hell of a tribute though. There were at least 600 people there on Sunday night and approx. 200-300 on Monday. Many people loved her. People that we use to work with at ACCESS showed up even... what a shocker! Who knew they cared!? Anyways.. it still all seems surreal.. like I could call the house and still talk with her. Things just weren't the same with us anymore, we had drifted apart. For that, I'm sorry.

She's earned her wings. My sister passed away on Thursday at 8:45am. She is at peace finally and no longer has to battle with Melanoma. God be with you Dee.

hospital

They took my sister to the hospital. They think that she is dehydrated or something to do with her electrolytes.

Can I just tell you how ANGRY I am with her? Do you know.. that when I was pregnant with Emma, is when we had that huge falling out. When I had Emma, she didn't come to the hospital to see me at all. It was approx 3 weeks after I had Emma that she actually came to the house. For my baby shower, she did nothing. Oh wait.. she brought pretzels. It was all about her and her anger towards me. This time.. I'm pregnant, and she is sick again. My parents are spending all the time with her and canceling time that I had scheduled with them to be with her. Both these times were suppose to be some of the happiest times in my life, instead, they are the most miserable. I'm tired of being pushed to the back burner.. all my life I've had to live in her lime light. Even teachers compared me to her, saying how I wasn't anything like my straight A sister... I'm tired of it. Why can't I just be me and have my time? This is my last pregnancy, and it's overshadowed with all this shit. My mom makes the comment amidst all my belly aching that it won't be for much longer. Do you know how much I felt like shit at that moment? Here I am complaining about my sister and she's telling me it won't be much longer. God. I fee like such shit right now. Sorry for belly aching to you all... thanks for reading.. again.

sunscreen

For God's sake.. wear it. wear good stuff. Got news this week that my sister isn't doing well at all. Philly has washed their hands of her, said the cancer is too much and advised her to start talking with the kids. She was meeting with a radiologist today to find out about options and when she can start. She is on oxygen and having a wheel chair delivered sometime. So.. for safey sake.. for you life.. where the crapping sunscreen.

SWIMMING!

Em's new robeez'

Emma's new sneakers!

NEW shoes!

I went and had Miss Em's feet measured today. She measures a size 3, we bought a size 3.5. In her Robeez, she shamefully still fits into the size 0-6 months! LOL! The 6-12 month Robeez are just too big. I did buy her a pair for mid summer- end of summer though in hopes that her piggies grow a little! The woman that measured her little pigs was AMAZED at how tiny her feet were! We also went and had pictures taken at Walmart. We pick them up on July 15th. She did really well with this lady, even smiled a few times which I'm grateful for!

Alright.. is she?

Is my child behind? She says Ma, Mom, Da, Ba, Ca (which I think stands for cat). She can eat by herself, she eats anything. She can walk holding on to things. She can go from laying down to a seated position. She can crawl, but is lazy and prefers her army crawl. She picks things up quickly. She can drink out of a cup.. ok... not the greatest. Is she doing what she needs to be doing?!?!?!