HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today is the day that my little girl is one year old! OMG!! As of 5:41pm today.. I'll have a "little/big" girl! I can't believe this year has flown!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRECIOUS EMMA!!!

unreal

There are times when the past couple of days seem totally unreal to me. I have a hard time believing that I'm no longer pregnant with my little boy. My beautiful little boy. I can't help to wonder, what would he have looked like? Would he have had dark hair like his big sister? Would he have had blonde hair? Would it have been straight/curly? What color would his eyes have been? What would he have been when he was older? You know.. the questions.

On an upnote.. Emma's first birthday is Thursday. I can't believe that I'm celebrating her first birthday. Sadly, I also have a followup doctor appointment on the same day. I can't win for losing.

Poem from a toko sista...

A Baby's Secret

I am just a little fellow
Who didn't quite make it there
I went straight to be with Jesus
But I am waiting for you here.

Don't you fret about me, mummy
I am of all God's lambs most blessed
I'd have loved to stay there with you
But the shepherd knows what's best.

Many dwelling here where I live
Waited years to enter in
Struggling through a world of sorrow
and their lives were marred with sin.

So sweet mummy, don't you sorrow
Wipe those tears and chase the gloom
I went straight to Jesus' bosom
From my lovely mother's womb.

Thank you for the life you gave me
I'd have loved to bring it fame
I have all of heaven's glory
Suffered none of earthling's pain.

Daddy gave me something for you
It's our secret mummy dear
He pressed it tight against my forehead
Whispered in my tiny ear.

I'll be waiting for you mummy
You and daddy,and my sis
I'll be with you then forever
Then I'll give you daddy's kiss.

My little boy...

My little boy was born on Thursday, August 24th, 2006 at 6:46pm. He was 8 inches long and 4.5 ounces. We did get pictures of him and I do intend to share them here. He was absolutely perfect. He had ten of the longest little fingers and ten perfect little toes. An autopsy is being performed. And we know that we may get some answers, but then we may never know what happened. I ended up having to have a D&E done as well as the placenta was not removing itself from the wall of my uterus.

My baby's gone.

Today I found out that my baby recently died in utero. This is one of the saddest days in my life. I will be going in tomorrow to basically deliver my baby. Testing will be done on the baby to try and find out why he/she died. We will also be able to find out if it was a boy or girl.

ugh

I return to school tomorrow. I'm going to miss having all the day time with my daughter! I can't believe the summer is over already! The kids return to school on Wednesday. I probably wouldn't have to go in tomorrow, but I want to get Emma back at the sitter's... and in some sort of routine. I'm really going to miss the little imp. She is on the verge of walking. I just know that she will take off this week or next at the sitter's and I'm going to miss the first steps. She already took one step for my mother-in-law.. which I didn't see. :( I hate missing her firsts. It just really sucks. I wish that I could stay at home with her more often than what I can. She is growing absolutely so fast right now and I'm missing out.

We spent all day Saturday cleaning up the outside of the house to get ready for her first birthday. Now we need to spend some time on the inside! UGH!

PARTY plans..

They are well under way! I've ordered her cakes for her party. I'm debating about ordering another cake for her actual birthday. Although, she only has to wait 2 days! While the cakes are free.. I figure I might as well take advantage of it.. right?!

The computer genius..

Emma has since deleted all my blogs that I had bookmarked. So.. Please email me links people! YIKES!

Em's had her first oreo today... ain't she proud?!

well.. her one year is upon us..

I had Emma's one year pics taken. Her party is fast approaching me.. and I need to clean my house!